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“I remember coming home from a combat deployment to Afghanistan
in 2010, and I just knew I was bringing back more baggage than I
originally left with. There are things you experience that, simply
put, change you forever. I have never been the man I once was after
experiencing what I did overseas.”
Posttraumatic stress
disorder can be a potentially debilitating condition which sometimes
occurs in people who have experienced or witnessed a disaster,
accident, terrorist-related event, death, war, violent act or other
life-threatening events, according to the Anxiety and Depression
Association of America. While many people who experience these types
of events can learn coping techniques and recover, many others will
be plagued by the remnants of PTSD for years following the
circumstances.
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July 8, 2017 - U.S. Air Force veteran Rob Scoggins, a former
combat rescue helicopter pilot from Manitou Springs, Colorado takes
a moment to stretch before his race at the 2017 Department of
Defense Warrior Games at the University of Illinois in Chicago.
Scoggins competed in the men’s 50-meter freestyle. (U.S. Air Force
photo by Staff Sgt. Alexx Pons)
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The personal struggle with PTSD was only compounded for
Air Force veteran Rob Scoggins, a former combat rescue
helicopter pilot from Manitou Springs, Colo., who upon
redeployment in 2010, was told his son faced a battle with
leukemia.
“This is not entirely uncommon,” Scoggins
said. “Not necessarily the family medical struggle, but
often, people who face combat-related PTSD will often be
confronted with a number of additional obstacles or
struggles that amplify the effects of stress.
“So
many of the rescue missions I faced while deployed involved
children, and that hit home for me – that made what I dealt
with overseas and what I was confronted with at home
incredibly difficult to handle.”
Scoggins faced
tremendous issues with anger, which he claimed was
intensified and targeted at people he loved and cared for
most. He became increasingly emotional, avoidant toward
situations he once enjoyed and numb in areas he would have
preferred not to be.
“You do not even realize that
you are after suffering from these invisible wounds, because
you are technically the same person you were before you
left, only you really are not,” he said. “All I knew for
certain was a feeling; and what I was feeling, toward
everything, was anger.”
As his irritably and
aggressive behaviors increased, so did his reckless and
self-destructive ones. Scoggins, who has a self-proclaimed
addictive personality, began occupying his time with toxic
activities that only hastened his downward spiral.
“I started drinking heavily, was taking any legal drugs I
could get my hands on, and developed a number of other
unhealthy habits that were sabotaging any hope I had of
doing what I needed to most – facing my inner demons,”
Scoggins stated. “I felt as though nothing was my fault; I
projected everything I was facing onto my family – it was
easier than facing my truth.”
The young pilot
avoided these truths because there was another fear looming
on the horizon, that for him, worried him just as much – the
fear of losing a career he loved.
“What military
leaders need to understand is that a culture did not exist,
and it still may not, where people are encouraged to raise
their hands openly and with tremendous support who are
suffering from invisible wounds like PTSD,” Scoggins said.
“Airmen, especially pilots, are not going to see their boss
and say “sir, I have mental problems’, and that is a huge
problem and social stigma facing our Air Force.
“You
do something even remotely like that, and you risk being
told to fill out mountains of paperwork, having medical
clearances revoked and losing flight or qualification
status; the price you pay for asking to get help is a career
you have sworn your life to and raised your right hand for.”
The former officer also referred to several “red flags”
he claims went unnoticed by leadership, which might have
made a difference in his life and career had he been
encouraged to seek help sooner.
“I was out spending
money all the time, my credit had declined dramatically, I
had separated from my ex-wife and was facing legal issues…
no one ever seemed to see all I had buried beneath the
surface,” Scoggins said.
He went on to say that
often the pride Airmen feel toward their military careers
and determination to continue service often dwarfs an
individual willingness to seek medical assistance to
properly cope with things like PTSD. The fear and perception
that career advancement will instantly halt for those
suffering from this is all too real for some service
members.
“Instead of looking inward toward the Air
Force for mental health assistance, I sought outside help,
which was not ideal for any reason other than not having
anything officially documented against me because I did not
trust the Air Force would not try to get rid of me,”
Scoggins said. “I went to several appointments before being
told there was no way I could have experienced anything
overseas I was recounting with the counselors, and I was
told I should just busy myself with other things to not
think about any of what I had brought up during my
sessions.”
In his experience, the counselors had no
idea how to speak with him regarding what he had faced. The
advice he received to keep busy led to another
self-destructive hobby. In 2011, he totaled his motorcycle
after colliding with another vehicle and sustained a
traumatic brain injury.
“The awful part of that
aftermath, aside from having my body and face mangled, was
that I was so far down the hole with my PTSD struggles, that
I did not even begin to confront my TBI issues until after I
was medically retired,” Scoggins said. “And it was not
because I just wanted to ignore it, but more so that a TBI
waiver for a flyer is much more difficult to obtain – all I
wanted to do was continue flying.”
An official PTSD
rating would come in 2012, but the uphill struggle only
persisted for Scoggins.
“I was cleared for
deployment following a PTSD waiver approval, which I pushed
hard for, but was then picked up for reclassification into
an RPA [remotely piloted aircraft] unit in 2014,” Scoggins
said. “It was easier for the Air Force to send me to another
platform, over investing time for my requalification after
all of my medical circumstances.
“I understand that
mental health has no say in how reclassifications are done
and that unit leadership was only so in-the-know regarding
my personal health, but I will never understand how someone
facing what I was with combat-related trauma would be
transferred to an aircraft like that and be expected to
perform those missions successfully – I felt it was a
counterproductive fit for me.”
Much like Scoggins
cannot disclose specifics about the missions that unit was
tasking him to perform because of their sensitive nature, he
also felt he could not disclose personal contempt toward how
those same missions were aggravating his ongoing condition
to superiors up his chain of command.
“My experience
just proved to me that if the military paid more time and
attention to people when it truly mattered, it could retain
the talent it has invested so much time, money and resources
into – people like myself who want nothing more than to
serve our country,” said Scoggins.
Unfortunately for
then Maj. Scoggins, his Air Force career would come to an
end in 2016; still, it was not until several weeks after
retirement that he would receive a formal invitation to
attend a care event hosted by the Air Force Wounded Warrior
program.
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July 8, 2017 - U.S. Air Force veteran Rob Scoggins, a former
combat rescue helicopter pilot from Manitou Springs, Colorado swims
during the men’s 50-yard backstroke at the 2017 Warrior Games at the
University of Illinois in Chicago. Adaptive sports provide unique
opportunities for athletes to heal and regain confidence and
purpose, while the Warrior Games offer a way to celebrate efforts
and commitment to healing. (U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Keith
James)
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“I had never even heard of it until after I was out, but
this is the part of my story that I really want to
foot-stomp… how despite the ways I might have felt let down
over the final years of my service, it was the AFW2 program
and the amazing staff who were able to jump start my life
again when nothing else could,” Scoggins said. “The care
after duty is very one-on-one, cognitive-based and aims at
helping you move on with your life when you may not want
to."
Scoggins credits the AFW2 adaptive sports
program with encouraging him to reclaim a social attitude by
teaching him healthy way to feel again. While he once felt
numb to emotions, sports forced him into situations covering
an emotional gamut, but in a positive environment.
“Art, music and comedy therapy provided taught me healthy ways to
deal with my emotions and to learn how to interact with my wife and
children again,” Scoggins stated. “My house is filled with paintings
we have all done together, I practice music almost daily as a
healthy way to set my emotions for the day and use music to adjust
my attitude or relax in public without needing to isolate myself,
and comedy gives me a healthy way to examine intrusive memories and
find ways to alter my perception of them.”
To Scoggins, the
AFW2 staff in an amazing team of dedicated individuals who refuse to
quit and who have helped not only him, but his family, overcome
obstacles and better prepare them to face challenges ahead.
“I had no idea how to do that, but the program showed me other ways
to thrive. This team brought out strengths in me I had completely
forgotten about and reminded me of why I live my life – to serve
others. This helped me regain a deeper connection with my family,
find humor in ordinary situations and find joy in life again; I have
a better life now because of this program. AFW2 changed my life in
every respect and I will be forever grateful to them; had this been
available to me from the beginning of my struggle, I would still be
an Airman… I believe that much in the power of this program – in its
power and its people to save lives.”
By U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Alexx Pons
Provided
through DVIDS
Copyright 2017
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