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A Year of Absence
(January 23, 2010)
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I just finished one of the most depressing books I have read in
years, but I could not put it down. “A Year of Absence,” written
by Jessica Redmond an Army spouse (www.yearofabsence.com).
Redmond's husband was an Army infantry officer stationed in
Baumholder, Germany, with the First Armored Division. As one of
only a few Army trained infantry officers in the Air Force and
having been to cold, miserable Baumholder in the winter, the
book caught my attention from the first page. The “absence” that
is referred to in the title is about the military member of a
family deploying to Iraq and what the family members go through
during the separation. When I was on active duty the military
separated me from my family. My father the Navy Master Chief
would go to sea for six to nine months when I was school age. So
I understand family | |
Van E. Harl |
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separation. The two major differences were: neither my father,
nor I were in direct combat, which helped immensely on family
member's stress levels and our families were in the US during
the deployment separation. |
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When the majority of the Army troops at Baumholder left for
their one year in hostile Iraq, their families were not sitting
safely at some state side location, where a simple phone call
could summon an extended family member for help in time of
crisis. The families were stuck in cold, rainy, non-English
speaking Germany. The military makes a major effort to take care
of the dependent family members when a G.I. is deployed, but
when virtually the entire active duty component of a base is
removed, the Army support system is over tasked.
Redmond's book follows the lives of six dependent wives who are
left in Germany for what was suppose to be a year without their
husbands. Some with children and some left alone. Of the six
wives there were officer's spouses, NCO spouses and young junior
military member's spouses.
As a former military commander I recognized some of the same
disparities in Redmond's subjects as in my former subordinates
and their families. Money, education and pre-deployment training
or the lack of any of these, were a major contributing factor in
how a military family functions during the long term “absence.”
Do not get me wrong, everyone of the wives had problems and
emotional issues during the “absence.” However if you do not
have children and you have a larger paycheck coming in, I would
suggest that person faired better than the early twenties wife
of a private, who is alone for the first time in her life,
outside the US, with two small children always needing and
wanting attention.
The combat deaths and memorial services at Baumholder did not
help to relieve the stressed families. The author's own husband
was evacuated with medical complications that ended his military
career. I have to assume this did not help her personal stress
level. When the Baumholder soldiers got extended in Iraq for an
extra four months, along with an increase in the combat deaths
in the unit, the families continued to suffer.
We live in a world of instance communications and the generation
depicted in this book was very much a product of that situation.
When my father went to sea all we had was letters that were
sometimes 30 to 60 days old by the time they got back to the
States. I had no e-mail when I was in Korea in 1983, again
letters only. Modern military families have regular access to
phones and the internet, but in some cases it only exacerbated
the situation. Nasty instant gossip from both ends of the
telephone created its own set of problems for these separated
families.
“A Year of Absence” is a must read for military families headed
for a long term deployment. I also would strongly suggest
officers and senior NCOs need to read this book. The civilian
spouse (male or female) who remains behind needs this book as a
starting foundation for preparing to be alone. Our senior
military leaders and more than a few senior civilians who impact
the lives of the troops could stand a good read of this book.
Every military base library must have multiple copies.
Deployments are going to go on for years. We must get better at
assisting our military families. They need help and the military
needs to retain its members. Better support for the families
will have a major positive impact on both issues. | |
By
Van E. Harl
Copyright
2005 About Author:
Major Van E. Harl, USAF Ret., was a career police officer in the U.S. Air
Force. He was the Deputy Chief of police at two Air Force Bases and the
Commander of Law Enforcement Operations at another. Major Harl is a graduate of
the U.S. Army Infantry School, the Air Force Squadron Officer School and the Air
Command and Staff College. After retiring from the Air Force he was a state
police officer in Nevada.
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