Wounded Warrior Tells His Story
(January 22, 2011) |
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Cpl. Paul Nee, then a rifleman with 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, currently a patient with Wounded Warrior Battalion-East, patrols the village of Garmsir in Helmand province, Afghanistan, 2008. This would be Nee's last deployment as following his battalions' return home he would be diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
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CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C.
(1/19/2011) - During the night of April 28, 2008,
Companies A and B of 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd
Marine Division, landed by helicopter in Helmand province,
Afghanistan. The following push through that province and
the ensuing battles were to reverberate through the
newspapers and television stations for months to come.
Cpl. Paul Nee, originally a rifleman with 1st Battalion,
6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division and now a patient
with the Wounded Warrior Battalion-East aboard Marine Corps
Base Camp Lejeune, was among the Marines that carved their
way through Helmand province and racked up a number of other
successes before his career took an unexpected turn.
Born and raised in Everett, Mass., Nee progressed through
his young life with an inclination toward the military, but
was unsure of what route to take.
“After high school
I attended Nowich University in Northfield, Vt., a military
college,” said Nee. “However, after two years I
didn't think I was mature enough for college yet,
and my grades reflected that. |
| I left and worked in
the produce delivery business with my uncle for a
few years.” |
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During his time after
college, Nee was becoming more inclined to do something for
his country, though he still considered himself naive.
However, with the events of Sept. 11, 2001, and the
following call-to-arms of America's youth over the next few
years, Nee responded.
“One day I was watching the
news and saw Marines in Fallujah, Iraq, and after seeing
guys the same age as me over there, I realized that was the
last straw for me,” said Nee. “I could still do my part, and
I was going to.”
In June 2005, Nee went to his local
recruiting office and did what every recruiter hopes for.
“I sat down in front of this recruiter and said, ‘Don't
sell me the story. I want to go, and as quickly as
possible,'” said Nee. “Only one thing was right for me: 0311
- infantry.”
The following month Nee was at Marine
Corps Recruiting Depot Parris Island, and following his time
at Infantry Training Battalion - East, Nee was sent to 1st
Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division aboard
Camp Lejeune in February of 2006 - just as they were
starting workups to deploy to Iraq.
“For the next six
months we were preparing to deploy, and the second week of
September found us in Ramadi,” said Nee. “It was a complete
urban environment, where you're surrounded by buildings and
there are threats all around you. Within the first week we
earned our combat action ribbons.”
The battalion was
scheduled to return to the states the following March, but
in the second week of January the surge into al Anbar
province commenced, extending Nee's return from deployment
an additional 60 days.
“The battalion took a good
amount of casualties, but as a boot rifleman, I definitely
learned how to operate with the leadership we had and the
trust between the guys,” said Nee. “We were a tight family.”
In May 2007, 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd
Marine Division had finally returned home. Nee was as happy
as the next Marine to walk off the bus into the arms of
family, yet he found himself having a hard time adjusting.
Throughout his leave time as well as the months working
up for another deployment, this time to Afghanistan, Nee
always had it in the back of his head that something was
different, but he put it aside and focused on his unit. He
was experiencing new emotions he never felt before, and
often drank himself into a stupor, but he hid it so well
that no one knew.
Nee said that he was always a
social drinker, but after he got back he was just drinking
to numb everything. However, he eventually became a team
leader, responsible for four Marines and one Navy corpsman,
and now was not the time to be unsure of oneself.
“Everything was fine until the last day of [Fort A.P. Hill
training] when I received word that my father had passed
away in his sleep,” said Nee. “Losing him was a kick in the
gut, but I knew he would want me to pick myself up and get
right back with the guys. I went home for a week and a half,
and two and a half months later we were in Afghanistan.”
In March 2008, 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd
Marine Division landed in Kandahar, Afghanistan, but the
fighting didn't pick up until April when the battalion went
out on a 7 to 10 day-long mission which panned out to last
137 days. Helmand province was a Taliban hotspot, and the
mission was to flush them out.
“The first two months
were totally hot, small arms fire and rocket-propelled
grenades,” said Nee. “After that, the Taliban didn't want to
fight us head-on. They resorted to improvised explosive
devices, pressure plates, taking cheap-shots at us. The rest
of the time we were on patrols, helping rebuild places we
had bombed, reassuring the locals, ‘hearts-and-minds' kinds
of things.”
While engaged with the mission, however,
Nee noticed he wasn't himself; the wave of emotions from the
deployments and losing his father made him feel like he was
not there anymore.
“You've been taught to be strong
and not be sorted out as being weak, so I denied anything
being wrong with me,” said Nee. “I sucked it up.”
That October the battalion returned to the states. Nee was
happy; his mother, step-dad and other family members were
there to greet him. Of course he was happy, but something
was missing.
“I came back from post-deployment leave,
and I still had enough time on my contract for a third
deployment,” said Nee. “I did the whole work up for another
tour in Afghanistan, but behind closed doors, I was a mess.
I wasn't right. But I didn't want to show that to everyone,
because like I said, that wasn't me. I always wanted to be a
good, locked-on Marine, and there was no stopping until the
job was done.”
It was not until Nee started having
panic and anxiety attacks when he went to his platoon
commander and said ‘I feel broken.' From there, Nee's
company commander made sure he received the best treatment
possible, ensuring he wasn't another number on a roster, but
a human being and a Marine who needed help.
“For the
next few months, I was in and out of psychiatrist offices
and put on various medications,” said Nee. “I was diagnosed
with [Post Traumatic Stress Disorder] and because of the
meds I didn't feel any of my emotions.”
Due to his
medication, Nee became non-deployable, and with his PTSD he
was attached to the WWBN-East in December, 2009. That whole
winter he secluded himself, feeling miserable due to the
fact that the Nee everyone knew who always rogered up for
any task was now a recluse sitting in a barracks room
wondering where he went wrong.
“I was thinking ‘why
did it affect me and not other Marines, some who've been
through worse than me?'” said Nee. “Because my brain took it
like it did, I was missing another deployment with a solid
group of guys, and I felt that if anything happened to any
of them, it would be my fault for not being over there with
them.”
Nee knew that if he ever wanted to get back on
track, he would have to rediscover the Nee he knew existed
somewhere in the hole that depression, anxiety and alcohol
had dug within him. He had to reach down and bring himself
back up.
The first sign of light for Nee was when a
child named Joey wanted to fulfill his lifelong dream of
becoming a Marine. Joey had brain cancer and, due to
multiple cerebral operations, was physically disabled, yet
he still wanted to try out the Indoor Simulated Marksmanship
Trainer aboard Camp Lejeune. This was an event of
inspiration for Nee.
“Being there and teaching him
how to operate the ISMT made me feel like a team leader
again,” said Nee. “A picture was taken of him and I, and
every time I look back at that picture and see myself I
think, ‘That's who I need to be again, I need to get him
back.'”
From that day forward, because of Joey and
that picture, Nee started his slow but upward climb back to
his healthy self. Through the spring of 2010 he was on a
roller coaster of emotions and progress, but he started to
gain more control of who he was and who he was going to be.
“I also had a timely goal in mind to help me in my
progress,” said Nee. “That June my old unit was coming back
from Afghanistan, and when they got off the bus to see me I
didn't want them to see a broken-down depressed me, but the
Marine and team leader they used to know.”
As Nee was
waiting foe the bus to pull in with his 1st Battalion, 6th
Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division brethren, his smile
returned and he felt alive again. He felt as if he was on a
non-stop climb to the top; no longer two steps forward and
one step back. He was becoming himself again and the Marine
he knew still existed.
Since then, Nee has been
getting better day-by-day. Some days are harder than others
- the anxiety and the sleepless nights have not completely
left - but due to the support he is receiving from his
friends and his wife, he is on his way back to health.
With his initial contract nearing its end, Nee plans on
returning to the blue-collar life he led before joining the
Marine Corps, and although his time at the WWBN-E is not yet
complete, he has bright visions for the future.
“I'm
aiming to get a job after I leave here, but if I need a
degree I'll go back and finish it,” said Nee. “You have to
want to get better, do a gut check and do what you need to
do to take care of business. Even though my Marine Corps
career hasn't panned out as I had planned, 20 years from now
I'll look back and be proud of what I've done and say, ‘Yea,
I did that.'”
This is just one of the many stories
that come out of the WWBN-East patients. Whether it's a case
of PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injuries or an amputee, each of
these Marines or sailors have their own story and their own
path back to health. |
By USMC LCpl. Jonathan Wright
Camp LeJeune Base Public Affairs
Copyright 2011 | |
Provided
through DVIDS
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