Colleen Greene (left) and Deb Tanish stand with their respective
blue and gold star flags; the blue symbolizing that they either have
a son or daughter in the armed forces and the gold meaning a son or
daughter who has died while in the service on July 14, 2011.
Following her son's death in 2004, Tanish has made it her mission to
spread the stars meaning and the knowledge of various support groups
for blue and gold star parents who do not realize the support system
available to them. Photo by USMC Cpl. Jonathan Wright
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CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. (7/21/2011) - A father was too old to join his
boys – he didn't need anyone to tell him that. He couldn't bring
them back, though many shared in the same desire. He hoped America
wouldn't join in the war that engulfed the world, but it had,
bringing along with it hundreds of thousands of others, including
his two sons. He couldn't go, they couldn't stay, but he wanted to
do something more than write letters, letters he didn't even know
were received. He wanted to do more to recognize their struggle. He
looked toward his window and saw his wife's sewing materials on the
table beside it, strewn with blue and white material.
As the
story goes, a father with two sons stationed in France during World
War I wanted to somehow recognize their efforts overseas. He
formulated the idea to place a rectangular flag in his window
decorated in the colors of the American flag – a white background
with red trimming and two blue stars in the center, one for each
son. The symbol eventually caught on with families placing a similar
flag in their windows marking how many children they had in the
Department of Defense. |
However, what would tell of a son or daughter who had
fallen far, far away from home?
“They would then sew
a gold star over the place of the blue one,” said Deb Tanish,
a Marine Corps wife and mother of a fallen soldier. “In
2004, I had to do the same thing.”
From an early age,
Patrick Tanish knew he wanted to be a
warrior for the country, and found his calling in the U.S.
Army. Working his way to become a cavalry scout, Sgt. Tanish
deployed to Iraq in April of 2003 with the 2nd Armored
Cavalry Regiment, later renamed to the 2nd Stryker Cavalry
Regiment.
“As a scout, his job with his other
soldiers was to bring out the enemy for the rest of his
unit,” said Tanish. “A lot of his men were scared and
reluctant to put themselves in harm's way, but Pat said, ‘I
know you're scared, but there are others who are looking up
to us to do our job, a whole country that depends on us, and
that's why we're here.'”
Deb read this recollection
in a letter one of Patrick's fellow soldiers sent her
following the events of February 2004, where Patrick was
killed by a roadside improvised explosive device while on a
mounted patrol outside of Baghdad. This frequently-used,
cowardly attack that has been plaguing the safety of service
members in Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001 had claimed yet
another life.
“After we got that knock on the door, I
just wanted to sit and cry forever,” said Tanish. “But
that's not what Pat would have expected of me. No matter how
much it hurts and makes me want to cry, it's not as
important as supporting the others going through the same
thing as me.”
Colleen Greene had a rocky history
since the birth of her son. Enduring a divorce and raising
her child by herself, there's little that can impose a mark
upon her steel resolve – other than her son becoming a
Marine Corps infantryman during a time of war.
“He
came home from school one day and said, ‘Hey mom, just to
let you know, I'm joining the Marine Corps,'” said Greene.
“I told him that if he was serious, join as a motor
transport mechanic or something like that so he could fix
the trucks and then relax. So after he comes back from his
recruiter, I asked if that's what he chose. He said ‘Nope,
I'm going to be an infantryman!'”
Prior to her son's
first combat deployment, Greene was absolutely oblivious to
the ins and outs of the Marine Corps or what the
significance of blue and gold stars were. However, during
that deployment, she met up with Tanish who took her into
her world and provided her with the best support system a
single mother with a deployed infantry son could want.
“It's been almost eight years since Pat died, and more
and more parents are becoming gold star families,” said
Tanish. “Instead of crying in my beer for the past eight
years, I made it my mission to educate all the blue and gold
star families as well as the public on what these star
symbols stand for and that those who hold them are not
alone.”
From public speaking events to television
interviews, the Tanishes have made it their duty to spread
the knowledge of the blue and gold star meanings and endorse
that those with stars come together to help each other out.
The impact of the blue and gold stars' importance in this
country has gotten so as to create a multitude of support
organizations where the blue star parents support new gold
star parents while gold star parents introduce new blue star
parents to the ways of the military and deployments.
“I know what they're up against overseas, and we at home
keep these strong support systems in an effort to be there
for one another,” said Greene. “It is extremely hard going
about your life and constantly worrying what could be
happening to him, especially when there's no one there to
open up to about it.”
On the day of her son's second
deployment with 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd
Marine Division to Afghanistan, Greene sat next to Tanish,
who made the drive up from Florida to be there to support
her. Both carried the stars of their family situation in the
military, one blue, another gold, yet despite the vast
difference between stories of their sons, both are proud
military parents who work to spread the awareness of the
support system shared by all military parents.
“We've
all experienced the same thing, so there's a true
heart-to-heart connection that can happen,” said Greene.
“That alone can be very helpful to a mother with a deployed
child. In their unit they are a family themselves, and when
they deploy their families, scattered across the country,
can stay connected and support each other.”
Tanish
and Greene are but two of a large network of families across
this nation, sharing the commonality of having children
serving in the armed forces. The support one family can give
to another is astronomical, and when that blue star becomes
gold, no one else can understand but someone who has been
there themselves.
By USMC Cpl. Jonathan Wright, Camp LeJeune Base
Public Affairs
Provided
through DVIDS
Copyright 2011
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