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'Her War' Podcast Aims to Help Military Wives
(May 27, 2009) | 
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Melissa Seligman is the host of the new ‘Her War' podcast for military wives dealing with deployment issues. Seligman also is the author of "The Day After He Left for Iraq." Courtesy photo |
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WASHINGTON, May 20, 2009
When Melissa
Seligman's husband left for his second deployment to Iraq,
she knew all too well what was expected of her.
“I was expected to be the nice, caring, understanding
military wife and mom,” Seligman said. “No military wife
wants to admit that she is hurt -- and sometimes angry and
very fearful -- of being alone when her husband is deployed,
... sometimes for the second or third time. It's very hard.
The guilt we feel from these natural emotions often keeps us
silent.”
Seligman said she hopes her new weekly podcast, “Her War,”
will help to provide a platform for military wives to openly
discuss such anxieties and uncertainties about their
husbands' deployments. The podcast, she said, is dedicated
to providing military wives with the tools and resources
they need to better equip themselves to deal with separation
issues.
Weekly discussions will focus not only on hope,
understanding and acceptance, but also on denial, anger,
bargaining and depression -- feelings that she said often
are hidden. |
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"‘Her War' is about honesty,” Seligman said. “Military wives
can join our discussions and be fully honest about their
inner fears and not worry about being judged. The absolute
focus of this podcast is to uplift them. I truly believe
giving these wives a chance to speak, hear and take charge
will empower them. In doing so, we strengthen our soldiers,
our marriages and our abilities to mother.”
Seligman, with the help of another military wife, Chris
Piper, launched the “Her War” podcast last week. The first
discussion, which included eight military wives, centered on
hope and denial.
“The podcast went really well,” said Lucy Brassard, whose
husband just returned from Afghanistan. “I was really
pleased with the format. I could relate. This is a support
group of women who have been there. You can trust them.
“I also liked the anonymity,” she continued. “We military
wives are often so closed-lipped. We just don't discuss
these issues out in the open. When you join the podcast, the
only name people know is your screen name. It just makes you
feel more comfortable and more relaxed.”
This is the type of atmosphere she'd hoped to capture, Piper
said.
“I believe military spouses don't feel they have a right to
feel a certain way, especially with their spouse in harm's
way,” she said. “With this podcast, they can learn that they
are normal and not alone. We sit here in our homes thinking
that we are the only ones that are grieving for our husbands
while they are gone. Just knowing that we are having normal
feelings and thoughts helps. We can learn to rely on
ourselves and each other. We can also learn about other
resources that the military provides for dealing with
deployments.”
Seligman, the author of “The Day After He Left for Iraq,”
said her inspiration for this podcast came from a military
wife who drove three hours to her first book signing.
“She walked into the store carrying the weight of her burden
and told me simply, ‘I'm a military spouse, too,'” Seligman
said. “She fell into my arms and cried. I told her she was
not alone. Right then, I knew I wanted to create a tool that
would uplift spouses and give them a sense of support and
normalcy.”
The “Her War” podcast is hosted by Courage Community, a
California-based online support group consisting of mental
health professionals and volunteers.
“We provide an online network and a lifeline of hope for
those looking for peer support, professional help,
reconnection to the community or just an understanding
friend,” Carlana Stone, founder of Courage Community, said.
“Melissa is on a passion-driven pursuit, from her own
military experiences in life, to empower and uplift military
wives. We wanted to be a part of this. Courage Community
wants to be an ally for these women.” | |
By Sharon
Foster
American Forces Press Service
Copyright 2009
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