| WASHINGTON, April 1, 2009 – Those in
uniform must always remember their fallen comrades and their
families, and those families deserve help in enduring their
heartache, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff said
here last night.
“All of us know that nobody goes
through life alone -- nobody,” Navy Adm. Mike Mullen told
those gathered for the
Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors
Honor Guard Gala. “[And] nobody should have to go through
grief alone. It's really that that TAPS does so well.”
Bonnie Carroll started TAPS after her husband, Army Brig.
Gen. Tom Carroll, an Alaska National Guardsman, was killed
in a plane crash in 1992. Seven others died in the same
crash. TAPS, a nonprofit organization, provides ongoing
peer-based support to anyone who is grieving the death of a
loved one who served in the armed forces. It brings together
survivors for comfort, healing, and hope through grief
seminars for adults and its Good Grief Camps for children.
It's easy to call TAPS the “gold standard,” Mullen said.
“I use it as a gold standard in my travels, in my
discussions when I speak with people about organizations
[that] reach out and help those who serve and help the
families who serve and have sacrificed so much,” he said.
“All of you who are members, or who work for ... and support
TAPS, please don't ever underestimate the impact of what you
do.
“It's almost beyond what we can describe,” he said.
Army Maj. Gen. Mark Graham found words after accepting the
TAPS Honor Guard Leadership Award.
“Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors is truly for
survivors,” the commander of Division West and Fort Carson,
Colo., said. “TAPS touches every survivor. “[It's] there for
everyone, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They never take
time off.”
Graham's son, Army 2nd Lt. Kevin Graham, was killed in Iraq
in 2004 after warning his fellow soldiers of a roadside
bomb. Another son, Jeffrey Graham, an ROTC cadet, took his
own life while studying to become an Army physician.
Graham's experience with a loved one's suicide allowed him
to help two young men deal with their father's suicide.
Marine Maj. John Ruocco, 40, returned from Iraq in 2004. The
Marine Cobra pilot took his own life on Feb. 7, 2005. His
sons, Joey and Billy, met Graham at a TAPS national
convention.
“He took me aside and he explained how my dad was fighting a
battle in his mind, and as well, on the ground,” Joey Ruocco
said. “I have a very deep understanding of suicide, since my
mom's a counselor herself. He made me understand even
deeper. I'd like to thank him for that, and I'd like to
thank him for helping other people understand.”
These shared stories, as well as those shared through a TAPS
video, provided attendees, many of whom are survivors, with
common ground.
“I think it's so important that we find ways to bond
together in public and to understand the depth of the grief
of these families and what they're going through,” said Tom
Brokaw, former NBC Nightly News anchor. “I want to pay a
special, personal tribute to you who are here tonight -- for
reasons that they would rather not be -- for their courage,
for their bravery, and for serving as model citizens for the
rest of us.
“We gather here as members of the American family, here and
abroad, at war and at piece,” Brokaw continued in the
event's keynote address. “Those of us on the civilian side
must make greater efforts every day to say, ‘We're here.
What can we do?'”
Jack May helped Marine Corps Commandant Gen. James T. Conway
present the TAPS Honor Guard Congressional Award to Virginia
U.S. Sen. Jim Webb. May was 2 when his father, Marine Staff
Sgt. Donald May, died in Iraq in 2003 when his tank fell off
a bridge over the Euphrates River.
Information provided to TAPS by bereavement experts
indicates that for each active-duty military loss of life,
10 people, on average, are significantly affected. From
operations Enduring and Iraqi Freedom, that works out to
about 49,350 affected survivors, including about 2,220
spouses and 3,454 children, estimates based on research by
Scripps-Howard News Service in 2005.
TAPS has provided its services, free of charge, to more than
25,000 surviving family members, casualty assistance
officers, chaplains and other who support bereaved families. |
